Energizer battery in a meat suit
You know the saying “if you want something done, ask a busy person?”
There’s a reason that’s true. When your nervous system is in a mobilized state and you’re in go, go, go mode, it’s nothing to add one more thing to the to do list.
I’m not saying it’s not annoying to have one more thing to do, but it’s actually not too difficult. What’s one more thing?
What’s more difficult when you’re in the mobilized state is to slow down.
To slow down, you have to have a way of realizing you’re doing too much, too fast, AND that there’s another way of being.
After working with a new client for just a few sessions, I shared with her a way of recognizing her constant “go mode” as an outcome of a dysregulated nervous system, and gave her a few basic practices as homework to help her untangle herself from how compelling that mode can be.
“What did you notice when you were able to interrupt your go mode?” I asked her at the beginning of our next session.
“I discovered there’s a person inside this shell of my body, not just an energizer battery in a meat suit.”
“And what’s significant about that?” I continued.
“Well,” she said, with tears beginning to well up, “a person needs rest, food, water—CARE. The battery will just go until it dies. Seeing that helped me have compassion for myself, and to make different decisions about things like how late I work and whether or not I actually took my day off.”
I wanted to share my client’s brilliant words with you because, as the new year kicks off, it can be easy to break out of the gates in energizer mode. The world is back into full swing after the holidays, there’s all the anticipatory pressure of the coming year, and there’s so much to DO.
But remember: there’s a person inside the shell of your body! They need rest, food, water and care. They need your compassion.
Furthermore: The energizer battery isn’t who you are, it’s a part of you who is run by the influence of your nervous system. The only thing that part of you cares about is self-preservation, but it has a skewed vision of what that means—because it doesn’t mean rest, food, water, care and compassion.
I know how hard it is to pause and get a sense of separation from the part of you who is the battery. But you must. Really. Because the battery won’t stop until it dies.
At the very least, when you find yourself in that mode, remind yourself: “this isn’t who I am.” And maybe even add “the urgency I feel isn’t real, it’s coming from my nervous system that’s telling me my life depends on going this fast.”
Then do your very best to make a bid to your nervous system to regulate.
Go splash some cold water on your face.
Shake your hands vigorously.
Give yourself a neck rub.
Hum or sing to create vibration in your throat.
Put both your hands on your chest and say to yourself, “you are safe.”
All of these are examples of how you can down-regulate, which means that you slow the rev. Even if you only slow the rev by a fraction, it counts. It gives you the feeling that you have some agency in your situation—that you’re not just being run by an invisible force.
And like brushing your teeth, you don’t just do this once and then you’re good for the rest of the month. Keep practicing! Give yourself these little moments multiple times throughout your day.
It’s called “vagal conditioning,” and it’s about strengthening the pathways of regulation in your nervous system.
Instead of a new exercise regimen as your resolution in the new year, maybe try vagal conditioning!
Don’t know how to slow down? Try my course on learning to regulate your nervous system.